November 30, 2021
In Tina Lifford’s book “The Little Book of Big Lies”, she reminds us that we are “never to ignore a person who loves you, and misses you…especially if that person is your Self”. (2019, p. 93) The inner fitness practice to help us begin this life changing behavior is to write your Self an apology. One of the women in our women’s group did just that and it has changed forever her Self perception. She has allowed us to share it so that other people may be changed!
I see you, I feel you, I am sorry. I spent a lifetime ignoring, betraying, and draining you. I allowed the pain pattern of not feeling good enough to put you in work environments that compromised your inner truth and being. Ever since Karl told you that he was choosing the job in MD over KY because of the money and success – you have prioritized the message that success is more important than feelings and self worth. Since then, I have consistently sought out an idolized figure in your industry to use as a form of acceptance, validation, and value. Every professional that could effect your career and success I have given all your power to on a silver plate. I am sorry that I do carelessly threw away your opinion for theirs. I am sorry that I lied to you for so long thinking this was the cost of your dream. I am sorry for ignoring you when you were screaming that the body was too fatigued, that your emotions weren’t a valid reason to take time off or to take an extra day of rest. I’m sorry that I stayed silent and gave away your boundaries just to “get along”. I am sorry that I betrayed your core values and acted differently than how I felt. I am sorry that I told you that you were fine even when you weren’t. Up until now I have compromised my inner truth, from this point forward I will forge a new path for myself in this industry.”