Several years ago I had a couple come into my office for their first session on a Monday. During the course of the initial conversation, they related that they had an appointment with a divorce attorney on Friday. In essence, I had one chance to turn this relationship around!
Why is it that people wait until the crack in the dam has become a deluge before they seek viable help? Maybe they just keep hoping things will get better…but typically, they just keep doing and saying the same things and, of course, it doesn’t get any better.
In a perfect world, people would think of therapy as they think of oil in their car. Periodic maintenance keeps everything running smoothly. Waiting until the oil has run out causes the engine to be “done” and it must be replaced. This is true relationships as well.
Then, when the relationship goes bad, they blame each other and move on to another one. And so it goes. Continuing with the oil metaphor, how many engines would you send to the junk yard before you learned that it would work out better if you just kept oil in the car?
Therapy has many benefits. A past client recently wrote about the benefits of therapy saying it:
- Provides hope and support during difficult times.
- Helps in understanding and managing difficult situations.
- Helps identify-understand-analyze-confront-accept-manage-overcome the depression and anxiety that are often exacerbated during life’s challenging times.
- Provides a safe space to learn and grow.
- Provides non-judgmental guidance through the process of change.
- Provides skills and techniques to manage challenges with self-esteem, conflict-management, communication, relationships, etc.
- Provides skills and techniques to manage emotions and feelings.
- Provides knowledge of available resources (books, seminars, workshops, support groups, etc.)
It just makes sense to take care of your relationship even if it doesn’t have big problems. Therapy, like oil, keeps your relationship running smoothly and out of the junk yard.